2018...How many times have you heard someone say, "New year...new me!!" Or even further how many times have you said this yourself!? If I was being honest I would tell you I have made it my personal mission to say this every time I try to commit to something new or different this new year!! While this has been fun and created many laughs and smiles, I spent a lot of time in thought about this concept, what does it truly mean...New year...new me!
One New Year's Eve last year I was with my mom and we were getting our hair done. I remember talking with the lady cutting my hair, reviewing our years together as we planned to bring in the new year. I told her how many people on Facebook could not stop talking about how they could not wait for 2016 to end...it had been the worst year ever and they were looking forward to saying good bye to it. I have had many hard times in life but had never really understood the concept. We talked about how not only has there never been a year that I was like WOW that year was down right awful...but the turning of the new year surly does not change much. It simply is a representation of a new beginning, a chance to start over.
Then 2017 came...my dear neighbors had to bring in the new year without their teenage niece who had been suddenly killed in a car accident. Another family that I do not know had to say goodbye to their teenage daughter after she was unable to recover from head injuries from a car accident on Christmas day. A family friend who we love dearly was in a wrestling accident and found himself with a life threatening spinal cord injury in his senior year of High school. As January continued on we decided to take a family trip to Gatlinburg to get away, celebrate my husband's birthday, and just have some family fun. A few days before we were about to leave the transmission went out in our vehicle we had just purchased a few months prior. Our back up vehicle was leaking large amounts of oil, so we cancelled the trip we were very much looking forward too. My husband's birthday came and I spent the day disappointed about the change of plans, but determined to make the best of it. Just as my husband arrived home, my mom called...Uncle Scott has come home from work, and found my Aunt Karen in her bed...passed away....needless to say we traveled to PA. Upon returning home I came down with what the doctor felt was the flu, a two weeks later it was discovered I had pneumonia...I have never been so sick in all of my life, when my six week recovery was completed I again had to be treated for wheezing and shortness of breath...which then led to thrush and a mess of diagnostic testing...by this time I was eating my words I had shared with the lady while I got my hair cut...2017 was the worst year ever...I could not wait for it to end...and it was only February!
2017 did not let up either! Our same dear neighbors house burnt down, my Uncle Scott's father fell very ill while he was visiting us and he raced home to be at his dad's bedside, my most favorite old man neighbor fell septic to a gallbladder infection, his internal defibrillator continued to go off and very high risk surgery was inevitable, our vehicle now known as Felicia left us stranded two more times, we had to put our family dog of 5 plus years down, two families we know had their two year old precious children diagnosed with cancer...Surly is we could just get to the new year...2018...everything would be better...right!!??
As the new year approached I spent a lot of time thinking about 2017 and the events that has taken place. The more I thought about it the more I realized...I still had so much to be thankful for, every need God had provided for. Then when I really thought about it what about all the great things 2017 had brought...The faith of the two families that lost their child has been beyond understanding...they are a light that shines in this lost and dying world, their child's works do follow through them and I believe they will for many years to come. MichaelDion was unable to continue to wrestle or join the Coast Guard like he had dreamed and planned to do. He did however defy the odds stacked against him. He not only survived his injury he made a full recovery with no restrictions, he did not let it slow him down! He graduated, finished his EMT, started college, and continues to work and provide for himself and his family. Jeff and Bonnie are plugging away on that house of theirs, both in their 70's but they are the youngest people I know. Its incredible to look across the yard and see a house stand where less them a year ago the one they built years ago was ashes. Uncle Scott's father at 93 years of age took his chances and had heart surgery, not only did he survive but he has thrived! His family reports he have never looked better, and he says he has never felt better. He may be 93, but it doesn't slow him down!! Roland...recovered both surgeries, even though he prepared for the possibility of not making it through he not only made it through but was home the next morning!! One of the families that had a child with a cancer diagnosis without explanation was healed completely!
The year held so much more as well, Cameron discovered his love and God given ability to run, him and Kayla got to do a school sport together something they had never done before and will never be able to do again. They were however able to lean on each other, cheer for each other and truly grow as siblings together. I conquered a 5K and with my children by my side! Kayla showed her love for soccer on the field, and ability even with the BOYS......."
Picking back up with 2018 in review...life certainly did not slow down...and if I were to look back I think...phew 2018 gave me a run for my money...it was a rollercoaster for sure...once again the year started off again with unexpected goodbyes to loved ones and continued with trials and hurt rearing their ugly heads all through the year. They were however, trapped in between some of the greatest memories, biggest milestones, and most fun we have every had!
As I previously mentioned Bonnie and Jeff's family suffered the devastating loss of Josie a few weeks before Christmas, she was 19 years old. Her family has turned her Facebook page into a celebration of her life. Recently while riding in the car I came across a video of her dancing. As I watched this young girl dance as if nothing in life mattered but what she was doing and who she was with in that very moment, I could see that she truly understood the value of life. Little did she or her family know that from that few seconds of video, two years of thoughts came full circle...I have been encouraged, I have spent days evaluating the importance of what truly is important, and challenging myself to be present and in the moment...the here and now.
None of us are any different this morning then we were last night waiting to bring in the new year despite the cliche sayings. We are however, not the same person we were Jan 1, 2018 as I we are today Jan 1, 2019. Whatever 2018 sent your way, there is no question it has stretched you, challenged you, hurt you, made you stronger, molded you...only you know...but what I know is it is a new year and we all have entered it a "new you"...so like Josie...dance, live in the moment, embrace life as it is thrown at you...but how...I certainly do not have all the answers but I believe through the little things, we achieve the big things.
Whether you need to take life day by day or minute by minute it doesn't matter, sometimes is is going to be hard, unimaginable and other times life will seem like it couldn't possibly get any better...no matter what 2019 sends my way, my hope is to "Do small things with great love!" Just as the song Dream Small says, there is nothing wrong with bigger dreams, just don't miss the minutes on your way to bigger things...these are the moments that change the world!"
Time changes everything, don't get stuck in the past, try not to wish away the time...Love, be present, live in the moment, soak it in...so much easier said then done...I have a lot of work to do this year, this is my start line <3
