I’ve decided that I will keep a journal of this journey. Not only are we writing history, but as the days pass on and this only seems to get harder I want to be able to look back and think...wow, and look where we are now. Also, writing is therapeutic for me...so here goes.
Friday, March 13th...phew what a week it was. Governor Northam announced that we would be closing schools for two weeks. Not going to lie...it was such a crazy week...I thought, this is perfect, a reset if you will, just what we need! I mean I am ashamed to admit how unconcerned I was in that moment.
I was genuinely worried for how this would truly effect families and children and income. I knew this would be much greater than we could fathom in that moment but trusted it would all be ok and this would be the big step that stops the spread and levels the curve.
We spent the weekend camping in our woods and aside from some very sketchy wind...had a seriously great time!
I was genuinely worried for how this would truly effect families and children and income. I knew this would be much greater than we could fathom in that moment but trusted it would all be ok and this would be the big step that stops the spread and levels the curve.
We spent the weekend camping in our woods and aside from some very sketchy wind...had a seriously great time!
Sunday March 15th...we packed up from camping and everything had seemed to returned to normal...for a minute anyways! In true Stearns fashion...we have two weeks off together...I pulled out the computer and started to plan our next spontaneous trip! Adventure awaits...and we are always on a mission to find it! However after a little thought and research we decided this was not what being a responsible American or example to our children. So after deep conversation explaining this to the children we committed to social distance and finding the adventure in staying home!
Monday March 16th...I am preparing for whatever the future brings, no worries, just going to roll with the punches. I mean I remember when I lived in PA and on rare occasions it snowed so much everything closed and we had to stay home. It was the absolute best! Me, my people, taking the day off, doing nothing, slowing down and just spending time together...life often gets so busy that these times became coveted and precious time. I quickly began to think of all the fun times and trips we have taken and what made them so special...just us, together, with that I was quickly able to think of this two week staycation as a blessing in disguise!
Well...better get to Wal-mart and get what we need for two weeks, dog food, stop at the nurtury...you know essentials! Cause we Stearns are doing our part and social distancing! We mean business! That was until Wal-Mart felt very much like one of those shows where the world is ending. And I don’t mean one of those scary ones, I mean the funny almost stupid ones that you literally cannot take any of it serious...yet all of a sudden it all seemed so real!! But I laugh it off, go home, the shut downs and governors are saying this and trump is saying that...me...cool as a cucumber. I’ve got this!
Tuesday March 17th...St. Patrick’s Day. Wake up, get my day started, wearing my green shirt I had planned for school anyways...doing great! Then I think of my sweet tiny humans, one in specific that has not stopped talking about the sneaky leprechaun that came last year. He has asked me all year if we could try and trap him again and remember the mess he made, do you think he will do it again?? As my mind wondered thinking of my classroom,
I decided that I should stay busy and enjoy this beautiful day! With the push mower I go to town on the green grass...see the connection there!? My favorite old man sees me push mowing and can’t have that so he comes over with his fancy ride mower and we both mowed the yard, maintaining safe distance but still spending time together. It was nearly the perfect solution to this social distancing thing! I spent the rest of the day in the yard, checking on the kids and their school work, can’t complain, it was a great day!
Found it hilarious when Joshua got home and asked me why I had St. Patrick’s day shirt on...he legit had no idea 🤦🏽♀️ We even celebrated a dogs bday (for those of you that know Kayla and her love for dogs, you will understand!) And don’t y’all worry, that sneaky leprechaun got some green in Joshuas milk! Probably the highlight of my day!!
I decided that I should stay busy and enjoy this beautiful day! With the push mower I go to town on the green grass...see the connection there!? My favorite old man sees me push mowing and can’t have that so he comes over with his fancy ride mower and we both mowed the yard, maintaining safe distance but still spending time together. It was nearly the perfect solution to this social distancing thing! I spent the rest of the day in the yard, checking on the kids and their school work, can’t complain, it was a great day!
Found it hilarious when Joshua got home and asked me why I had St. Patrick’s day shirt on...he legit had no idea 🤦🏽♀️ We even celebrated a dogs bday (for those of you that know Kayla and her love for dogs, you will understand!) And don’t y’all worry, that sneaky leprechaun got some green in Joshuas milk! Probably the highlight of my day!!
As we ate dinner and the night lingered on, the news of restriction of state after state came and a few that schools decided to close until Sept. I immediately thought...that’s crazy!
However the reality of that began to sink in...will I not get to see my classroom kids again? Wait for them at the door to mark them present? Remind them to wash their hands? Or ask them if they are eating breakfast? Will I not get to teach them conflict resolution, or how to be a STAR, or share our celebrations, have family meeting, or eat lunch together? Will last Friday really be the last day I had with them?
My heart began to feel so heavy...I missed them as if it had been years. I worried for them, we are not done, I was not done...still so much time to share, hugs to give. As I started to feel the anxiety within me I knew for their sweet tiny human selves they must be feeling something too. How could I reach out and help them feel a sense of normal?
See we are more then a classroom, we are a school family. When a member of our family is gone we miss them, we wish them well, and when they come back we celebrate. This separations is different...one day we were together, one day we were not. Was everyone ok? Is everyone safe?
Furthermore, what will people do for income, how will the economy make it? I saw a picture of Time Square EMPTY...it again brought me back to that silly end of the world show. To be honest the last time I was in NYC I remember walking past places thinking...so much money wasted...for what? What purpose do all these fancy buildings and decorations have? Just two month later the reality hits hard...they are just things.
My brain went to thurs night, March 16th, Joshua and I went to dinner, we talked about the camping plans for the weekend and the talk of stuff shutting down, thinking how crazy that would be. Not even 24 hours later that became our reality. I found myself longing for “normal” and more important the security of what tomorrow holds.
At the end of the night I realized, none of us know what we will wake up to, how we will manage it...its scary and it’s hard! I am here to tell you it’s ok to be scared, worried, or even cry. Know you are not alone.
However the reality of that began to sink in...will I not get to see my classroom kids again? Wait for them at the door to mark them present? Remind them to wash their hands? Or ask them if they are eating breakfast? Will I not get to teach them conflict resolution, or how to be a STAR, or share our celebrations, have family meeting, or eat lunch together? Will last Friday really be the last day I had with them?
My heart began to feel so heavy...I missed them as if it had been years. I worried for them, we are not done, I was not done...still so much time to share, hugs to give. As I started to feel the anxiety within me I knew for their sweet tiny human selves they must be feeling something too. How could I reach out and help them feel a sense of normal?
See we are more then a classroom, we are a school family. When a member of our family is gone we miss them, we wish them well, and when they come back we celebrate. This separations is different...one day we were together, one day we were not. Was everyone ok? Is everyone safe?
Furthermore, what will people do for income, how will the economy make it? I saw a picture of Time Square EMPTY...it again brought me back to that silly end of the world show. To be honest the last time I was in NYC I remember walking past places thinking...so much money wasted...for what? What purpose do all these fancy buildings and decorations have? Just two month later the reality hits hard...they are just things.
My brain went to thurs night, March 16th, Joshua and I went to dinner, we talked about the camping plans for the weekend and the talk of stuff shutting down, thinking how crazy that would be. Not even 24 hours later that became our reality. I found myself longing for “normal” and more important the security of what tomorrow holds.
At the end of the night I realized, none of us know what we will wake up to, how we will manage it...its scary and it’s hard! I am here to tell you it’s ok to be scared, worried, or even cry. Know you are not alone.
As for me, I will be hiding behind my smile, that’s what I do best. It’s not an easy thing to open that bottle of feelings after years of keeping her locked so tight. What I do know is the smile is a mask, helps me feel safe...you know like the sunglasses you wear at the dentist as a child, on the inside however...I long for certainty and knowing what the future holds.
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